Friday, July 30, 2004

talk about happening! seriously.

school was good. the dance was really, really fun! hahah yeah.

did my mock test in abt 40 mins (lol) and cabbed down to tp. toro was filming and he was being so cute, as usual.

anyway, got to talk to him again! wanted to pass him the letter, but he asked me to do it later because he didn't have anywhere to put it. think he wasn't in a very good mood, but he didn't say that in a mean tone. still, i got to talk to him! hahah. don't know where the other fans were at that time.

so, he went to swim. then nette and i sat outside the male toilet to wait, and it wasn't intentional to choose that spot! hahah. after swimming, he went to the toilet to bathe, and when he came out, i passed him the letter! and he waved bye :D

he still wasn't in a very good mood, but it's alright. i think he's gay with the robert guy or sth.

:D

then, i looked at the time and it was like 515pm. so i was like "nette, you want to go love contract autograph session?" and she (ok, we) got SUPER excited so we cabbed down to heeren. and according to brenda, the queue was very short but it turned out to be the outisde queue and there were actually so many people!

hahah. anyway, it was so embarrassing. i mean, in the middle of heeren, queueing for an autograph session? but was worth it cause xiaomei's SO hot. and he kunda's friend -winks at nette- met pauline and kept telling her not to tell anyone she saw me. hahah. but i'm not so embarrassed anymore.

ok, so the queue was really fast! the first time we went up, they gave us this autographed photo thing. then we decided to go again, but no more photos :( i shook xiaomei and yichen's hands! she's pretty! hahah childish, i know. but they're really, really friendly and nice people. and nette asked xiao mei to pass a letter to kunda! hahah. hope he remembers.

yep. after the whole thing, we saw the markers lying on the table. don't know why nobody asked for it. so in the end, nette got xiaomei's and i got yichen's. hahah! so stupid. and the person wanted to give nette a bottle of water that xiaomei took a sip of but nette stupidly said she didn't want! hahah.

so that's it. gosh i feel so, so.. immature (?) saying all these. but it got me pretty high and it was fun :D now nette and i want to go for every single autograph session. heh. next up is energy! oh that one's mad. going reallllly early but think we'd still be at the back or sth.

can't wait for love contract. know it's going to be a nice show. and i'm thinking if i should buy the vcd. it's 50 bucks :S

very happy tonight :D

oh but i think i lost 20% of my blood today or sth. mega heavy flow, PLUS that damn thing couldn't stop bleeding! hahah.

i will try, because i don't want to see you like that.

you duo jiu mei gan dong guo




9:00 PM

i'm back! :D today was a damn happening day! hahah. it's about toro but siying advised me not to blog about it. so, yeah. anyway, :D

just wrote another long letter to toro! going tp again tmr. been a long time. q happy cause at least i'm not like mad mad anymore and i think once in awhile is fine. i know i'm sec four but nobody said sec fours can't like toro. heh :D who cares if it's uncool or anything.

hmm. everything's been.. i don't know. fast? workload's overwhelming. not hwk work, just the revisions and stuff. four tests this week, and three mock exams. which is like, crazy. but i'm taking things pretty easy. and that's bad!

lisa's been nice! i mean today is actually the first time i called her and went "hey i'm so troubled, can you help me? etc etc" exact words! hahah! and she gave pretty cool advices! alright. i sound overly excited.

oh yeah. the whole family's going for an interview at spca on tuesday so we can adopt a dog! hahah. so excited. but don't really know what to name him. and (yeo) siying's dog can respond to "where's mommy?" what the hell is wrong with rain, why is he SO dumb!

hahah. i got the shock of my life today. i was like eating dinner at maybe 5, then suddenly the damn goodlooking neighbour peeped into the house. i was like !? then later i found out that he was supposed to go play tennis with my sister. it's like, i didn't even know they knew each other! apparently they chatted a little yesterday through the gate and they're friends?
hahah. he's hot! 

many, many exciting things coming up ;) ahhh i'm so looking fwd to all of them! including the toro concert, energy concert, energy autograph session etc.

and ergh >:( so many people who went for the track nationals told me! damn pissing!

if you think it's a good thing, think again. it's making you lose all the things you once thought were so precious to you. i thought it was oversensitiveness on my part, but the "talk" confirmed it.

and when things i held on to so dearly are becoming unimportant, i know this is already the limit. i want to, but how?

brenda, can your entries not be so funny?

every time i listen to shou le dian shang, i feel so depressed! it's such a sad song, but really nice though. she has a good voice.

long entry!

ceng yi wei ni shi quan shi jie,
dan na tian yi jing hao yao yuan

ning meng cao de wei dao. it's NING! i was SO sure it was ning but it just sounds right to say ling meng, so i went to check the dictionary. hahah :D cheap thrill.

and yep, ismy.



12:01 AM

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

school was really funny. or maybe it was just the serene part :D she's so cute.

and siying said my "love breakfast" was nice! my efforts were worth it, after all :D

don't call me "that friend of (hers)". i've never, ever done a single thing to you. don't point your finger at every person who is not on your side. we've discussed this before, and i thought you were sincere. i'm sorry you took it seriously, and that it wasn't obvious to you that it was supposed to be a joke. i really don't want things to turn ugly, at least not btn you and i, but i can't do this alone.

we're back where we started, aren't we? i hate this. i hate this so, so much.

this sick, redundant melancholy has to go.



10:53 PM

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

you're becoming so impossible. get out of your own, self-centred world.
 
but siying's so cute. she said she'd let me pinch her! hahah. and i'm going to make her "love breakfast" tmr :D



9:31 PM

Sunday, July 18, 2004

thank you.
 
and that what the hell siying! hahah :P


12:46 PM

Friday, July 16, 2004

hmm. feeling much better tonight. past few days have been really bad. haven't felt this lost and empty for a long time, but yeah. don't really want to talk much abt it.  
 
wanted to go jp to look for toro but he didn't go,  he wasn't at delta either. was a little disappointed.  
 
annie and i played the playground! it's damn fun. just that the flying fox was so short. hahah. went tbp to eat the ice kachang thing. that was how lame. she came over, and we started singing huan zhu ge ge songs. lol. it was fun ok. left at around 8.  
 
just got off the phone with siying. full of rubbish la that one.  
 
parents are in taiwan now. we're probably getting a new dog when they come back! but honestly,  i don't think it'd happen. mom's so overly worried abt my sister. -makes face-  
 
i like serene! she's nice. but extremely irritating too :P  
 
blogger's new font is so.. elongated. can't find a better word.  
 
there's chemistry mock test tmr. should i go study or sth? but it's like what the hell, miss seah really makes me hate her lessons so much. so much. she's not even that bad a person, why can't she try to be nicer during lessons. doubt she even knows.  
 
 having steamboat after mock :D probably. hahah miss it! and at night, chinatown with the darls for.. food. hahah.  
 
think nan quan ma ma's really cool, and so are xiao mei and lin yi chen. so much news abt them lately, it's hard to not notice. very natural artistes.  
 
wo hui fa zhe dai, ran hou wang ji ni
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
xiang zhe na yi tian, hui you ren dai ti
rang wo bu zai xiang ni  
 
wo hui fa zhe dai, ran hou wei wei xiao
jie zhe jin jin bi shang yan
you xiang le yi bian, ni wen rou de lian
zai wo wang ji zhi qian  
 
yep. you've disappointed me once again. but it's alright, you've made me more sure of what i want. everything's going to be ok, and soon, i won't remember a single thing.    


10:00 PM

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

there, so much better. don't really like to see that there.

actually, i don't have much to say. i bought new shoes and ong went oh my goodness. hahah but she didn't mean it.

oh yeah and i got ten for amaths. when i did all my holiday hwk (every single question) by myself, i get ten? not even hard but i failed it. always thought i was smarter than that but apparently not.

i dislike integration and organic chemistry.

not in school now because integration drove me to tears last night. mrs gek keeps saying how easy the topic is and how we should score but !?

life's pretty empty nowadays. it's the superficiality of things, and i can't say i really like this. doing things for the sake of doing, that unchanging routine, yet i know i can't accept changes, at least not now. so little laughter, too much unhappiness. that's sec four life.

off to do integration. all the best.

why did you have to go.


11:23 AM

Saturday, July 10, 2004

shou qian shou, wo de peng you

i love you guys, as much as i did a year ago, and as much as i will a year later. maybe, when i finally discover that i'd never find friends like you guys ever again, i'd love you guys even more.

i did not forget, and i want you to know, i will always love you, and i will be here, as long as you need me, even if you don't need me.

take care of yourself.

12:01 AM

Friday, July 09, 2004

i'm back :D

didn't go see toro the whole week cause of some swimming nats thing. anwyay he went back to taiwan for a few days, so yeah. and i HAVE to stop obsessing.

had chinese oral today. hmmm. it was alright i guess. the reading was abit off but the conversations were much better than the mids. thanks to the cheater bugs :D hahah! had such a great time talking to lisa, joelle and serene before that. we were gossiping SO much that i totally forgot abt feeling nervous.

annie came over after that. that sweetie waited like 3 hrs for my oral to end. thanks dear :D kiss kiss. just left.

yesterday was great too. watched spiderman2 with annie and laura. it was really good. and kirsten dunst is damn hot and natural and i love her! really pretty smile.

going for the toro and energy concert thing with nette the end of this month. abit scared. i miss nette!

yep. on the whole, life's been pretty good.

but lisa's sad today :( but know you'll be ok soon. i'm still pretty sure your A1 is safe. believe me!

been missing siying alot these days. speaking of that, she had a special request. her pool has improved so much so fast! hahah. rolls eyes.

Some say love,
it is a river that drowns the tender reed
Some say love,
it is a razor that leads your soul to bleed
Some say love,
it is a hunger, and endless aching need
I say love,
it is a flower and you it's only seed

love the song so much. really beautiful.



8:27 PM

Friday, July 02, 2004

another one of my toro days :D

went tp again, and he was swimming this time. when we first went there, he was in the toilet, so when he walked out, he was half-naked, and brushed past us! hahah. but there were alot of fans today, unlike the other day.

ok anyway, they were at the public pool today. so, all the fans just sat there and watched him swim and suntan from a distance. such a cutie.

yep. i was getting q - cause i REALLY wanted his signature. so while he was swimming one of his laps on his own, we ran over. annie was the most daring so she ran over and ask. hahah he signed my book, and said she scared him! then i ran over next for him to sign the pictorial book, and he repeated his scaring sentence. then he said he was going to "dao zhe you hui qu" and said bye.

ahhhh. if i'm going to continue seeing him and talking to him like that every three days, i'd die when he leaves :'(

but at least for now, nothing can spoil my day!

thanks ANNIE, brenda and nette :D

school was fine. youth day celebration was a little weird but oh well.
______

however, even though it's a happy day, there's something i still have to say. i don't like it when pple talk abt my friends like that, esp things which are so subjective and untrue. you can go on and on insulting and humiliating her, but hey this is public, leave yourself with some pride by trying to be more honest.

on behalf of her, she did NOT use the word "fuck" on a particular person, so get your facts right before you decide to talk like a poet desperately trying to flaunt her writing skills. and anyway, even if she did, that is her way of talking, what you're trying to say abt her being a "bigger fuck" is just like what i used to say in primary school, "say people, say yourself". please grow up.

about what my friend did, yes, you do have the right to think that "it's very wrong". however, you don't make use of this opportunity to dig up the past, and the non-existent grudges you sounded like you had with her, because that's plain nonsense. pinpoint on this, and ONLY this.

she has never EVER said "oh, it's in my nature". she has never tried to "right her wrong", because she never did feel that did anything wrong, and that's fine. who are you to change her nature, who are you to judge her right and wrongs? and dream on, if you ever want her to confess to you that she's a "bitch".

she had all the right in the world to scold anybody anything in her blog. your sentence made it so clear, "her blog", fullstop. think of a better sentence in future, will you?

she does NOT push her faults away "fucking blindly", then blames others for it. don't make up your own stories although i can see you really do enjoy that. she has faults, of course she does, and if you cannot learn to accept her faults, don't call yourself a "true friend", silly. you obviously don't know what a "true friend" is supposed to mean. you can say that she's not a "true friend", but yeah, she may not be one to the person she doesn't like and scolded in her blog, but that doesn't mean she isn't to me, to other friends who are significant to her. she's not as free as you, going around calling yourself a "true friend", after giving her a whole entry of your "tongue lashing".

she has no sensitive nature, that i agree whole-heartedly, and so does she. that's what makes the world go round, sensitive and insensitive pple mixed together, isn't it? how can you blame her for her character, how can you call yourself a friend if you can't even accomodate to that. well, i can, and i'm not more sensitive than i should be.

what may seem like "precious friendships" to you might not be to her, don't use your judgement to judge her friendships. she knows best who is precious and who is not to her.

she does have friends, not new friends, but old friends, like me, like her other friends, who'd stick by her, and treasure her friendship more than you think we do.

you can say anything you like, it's your wish, just like it's hers what she wants to say. i believe that while you wrote that entry, you knew very clearly what kind of reactions you would get, and this is not surprising to you. i felt like i was doing unseen prose, cause i could find fault in almost every single sentence. think before you speak, and if you felt that it was so righteous for you to have written that entry, then don't even try to blame me for this.

you can't bring her down, cause she has me, and her other friends who'll always stand by her, just like how you do, probably. i hope i brought you a step closer to self-betterment.

yep. -wipes sweat- that was just SO bitchy i tell you. hahah it's been such a long time since i've done such a thing but an eye for an eye, you just don't mess around with my friends like that :))



8:16 PM