Sunday, August 29, 2004

just a few weeks ago, i was having an obsession with emaths, and then amaths, and now, chemistry. i love electrolysis, as much as i hate preparation of salts! (which is, alot)

my infected ear is bleeding, and painful :(

energy came yesterday. the very disciplined nette and i resisted all forms of temptation, and we, yes, stayed at home. oh well, it was only zpop concert, and we've seen them sing the same songs so many times. moreover, nette just sent me many vidoes of them at the airport, at zpop rehearsal, and at zpop concert receving a plaque from president nathan. !? according to nette, they all (except ahdi, as usual. but he didn't look nice yesterday.) had hair extensions! didn't notice that though. shuwei had pink :D so cute.

they're coming again right before our prelims. >:( gai ban autograph session and jing qu jiang. we'll be missing out on alot but well, we reap what we sow. we'll be the happy ones at the end of the day.

oh and if i didn't mention, toro went back last tuesday. good riddance!

it's intensive studying from now on. no more fooling around. gotta buck up!

jay's war song is nice.

alright. going to take a tiny beauty nap before i wake up and work on more amaths.

nette: do we actually have entries not mention energy or toro?

3:35 PM

Friday, August 27, 2004

HELLO I LOVE LISA.


5:37 PM

Thursday, August 19, 2004

joelle's so funny. she just msged "hsin!! snow angel is so excitin" i mean, fancy jojo going crazy over an ou xiang ju :D

less cranky today, perhaps because i got enough sleep. gotta stay up till really late finishing my 3 history essays, 2 source-based and biology paper. -nods-

and i'm happy! siying said my breakfast was very nice ok :D worth my waking up and frying egg. hahah. stop saying i can't cook :P

i don't like thursdays and fridays, because of the lab lessons. i really don't like lab lessons! so hot and stuffy and boring. i think i'm going to fail my biology practical, the drawing part.

i'm racking my brains, thinking of sth interesting that happened, but nope.

oh yeah, toro wasn't there today :( but at least he's really back from malaysia. will be going tmr if he's there, or saturday. i HAVE to see him one last time!

and that alan/allan person called today to ask how my name is written, so that toro can write it. and he was like "i'm not sure when toro will call me up to go for lunch." !! too much man! (i'm talking like someone, but who?) i so badly wanted to ask for his number or ask sth like "can you take me along?"

feel so misunderstood.

off to finish up my essays for the crazy woman!

Dark ages.




9:35 PM

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

feeling depressed now. might be going to see toro tmr, and it's the last time. he's coming back from malaysia tmr, and he's going back soon after that. wonder how i'd feel if i send him off, watch him walk away. so i shan't. i'd miss him so, so much.

and gotta thank nette for accompanying me all these months. really appreciate it, and of course the endless times you've pulled me up when i was at my lowest! on top of it all, thanks for being the only one who comes the closest to understanding how it's like and all, cause well, we're in the same boat. heh.

annie just left not long ago. she came over to watch ronald susilo (did i get that correct?) play, and he lost! hope you'd cheer up soon, don't forget his achievement just because of this match! sth to make you happy, someone just signed into msn with this : susilo ronald RULES. yep :D

have loads of mrs ow's work to do, but i didn't bring my history textbook back. it's alright, i'd just end up writing rubbish anyway. she's crazy.

oh and jankor was in the now section of lian he zao bao today! an interview abt her friends and her. hahah, damn cool. i have a superstar friend :D

i miss lisa :( almost died without her today.

yep. don't really want to talk abt. shall go bathe and start my work.

qing gei wo quan shi jie de ji mo
every day, every night, i am missing you




9:10 PM

Thursday, August 12, 2004

been years since i've last done this, and i'm bored.

1.wads ur last 4 digits of your hp no.? 3283.
2.ur fav physical feature: eyelashes!
3.ur fav song: currently, hey you.
4.haf a gf?: don't think so? (i read the qn wrongly! hahah. no, no gf, but a bf named toro, yes.)
5.haf ur own room?: yep.
6.hates: mrs rupa's lessons. that's like, half my life.
7.wad u doin nw: this.
8.1 thing u cant live w/o: rain.
9.where do u live: sadly, sg.
10.what would u do when sum1 tells u he likes u: depends on who.
11. how are u feeling now?: bored, and a little sad :(
12.where do u hangout often: school, home, school, home.
13.wad r u gd at: slacking, HONESTLY.
14.wad is it abt a person u cant stand: who, dorcas?
15.wad do u wan: energy&toro.
16.a word tt describe u: bitchy. (refer to number 14, please)
17.wads ur dream: loads. psychologist, but i need more creativity than that. i want to marry a chef who plays the piano. pstt, toro can cook.
18.day/nite: night.
19.sunset/sunrise: sunset. i need ALOT of sleep.
20.like a romantic bf/gf?: yeah.
21.wad izzit abt the opposite gender tt attracts u: i really don't know, it's just a feeling. i'd say i go for height, but...
22.r u an independent person: nope, definitely not.
23.do u like school: for certain and different reasons, yes and no.
24.r u a ctrl freak: sometimes.
25.r u naive: i don't think so.
26.believe in god?: yeah.
27:wad'll u do if u c ur bf hugging a girl: kick him.
29.get pissed off easily: depends on who. but actually, yes.
30.like ur parents: yeah, love them.
31.r u a materialistic person: nope.
32.believe in love: yeah.
33.hw many piercings u haf: four.
34.will u get a tattoo: nope.
35.smoke: nope!
36.club/pub : none for now.
37.clubbing: not now!
38.will u forgive ur bf if he cheats on u: no, never.
39.will u expect ur bf to forgive u if u cheats on him: no, but i'd hope he does.
40.r u on a trip recently: nope.
41:fav country: that's lame, taiwan i guess?
42.r u impatient: recently, very.
43.which brands do u prefer: i'm ok with anything.
44.do you organise parties often: nope, too tedious.
45.do u haf gd frens: duh.
46.do u think u r gd looking: hahahahahahaahaha :P i'm alright but i'm super vain!
47.do u care abt looks: yeah.
48.do u think tt u r a gd gf: i don't know. maybe not. but, i try.
49.do u use vulgarities: sometimes.
50.do u quarrel wif pple easily: recently, yes.
51.r u forgiving: i forgive, but never forget. (nice ans from nette!)
52.do u get hurt easily: yeah.
53.do u prefer guys wif long/short hair: i'd say short, but every single guy i like (eg. toro & shuwei & kunda & xiaomei, you get the idea) has long hair.
54.do u prefer girls wif long/short hair: short, please.
55.is ur hair colored: nope.
56.r u a romantic partner: yeah.
57.do u wear a watch: yeah, but i don't know where it is. think it's in school.
58.wad color clothes do u like: black and white.
59.will u choose love or $: love!
60.do u prefer slp or eat: BOTH.
61.white or black: depends. white, i guess.
62.pink or red: red.
63.fav flower: lavender.
64.do u like to receive flowers: nope :S
66.fav perfume: i'm ok with anything.
67.favourite type of music: slow, sad, sappy love songs.
68.favourite past time: sleeping and eating.
69.favourite drink: not icelemon tea.
70.favourite phrase: holy, holy, holy. actually no, i said that because i'm listening to it. i don't know.

more!

1. Name: wenhsin.
2. Were you named after anyone? nope.
3. Do you wish on stars? nope.
4. Which finger is your favorite? I DON'T KNOW.
5. When did you last cry? today, cause it was so touching to see gloria (or was it eileen?) hugging mdm lim.
6. If you were making a movie about yourself, who would play you? toro!
7. Do you like your handwriting? messy, but alright.
8. Who are you jealous of? fiona xie >:(
9. What is the #1 priority in your life? family and friends.
10. What is your favorite lunchmeat? ?
11. Would you ever sing (or dance)? yeah, duh!
12. Do you ever die in your dreams? not that i remember of.
13. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? yep.
14. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 10, maybe? or 100, plus my sister's.
15. Do you follow or lead? both. it's very different on and off court.
16. Have you ever told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? i don't swear about this, but yes, i've told secrets.
17. Have you ever stolen anything? yeah, when i was young.
18. Do looks matter? friends, no. but as for a boyfriend, yes.
19. What is your favourite saying or motto? i'm not a philosopher.
20. Have you ever met anyone famous? ENERGY! (& that includes toro, please)
21. are you over your last g/f or b/f? yeah.
22. Whats your favorite piece of clothing? pjs, honestly.
24. Are you passive or aggressive? depends.
25. If all else fails (career wise)? marry a rich man.
26. Who is your second family? friends.
28. What was your favorite toy as a child? don't remember!
29. What class in school did you think was totally useless? chemistry wins hands down.
30. Do you like sappy love songs? yeah.
31. Do you have a journal? this!
32. Have you ever intentionally hurt another person? yeah.
33. Do you like sarcasm? i don't LIKE, but i'm ok.
34. Do you think you have ever truly been in love? well, to a certain extent, yes. just once.
35. Would you rather have a sore throat or an upset stomach? sore throat, definitely.
36. Have you ever thought seriously about committing suicide? nope.
37. If you could be a cartoon character, who would it be? i don't wantt.
38. Are you a phone person? yeah, although i only have one everyday phone friend, which is, unfortunately, siying :P
39. Could you be a vegetarian? NO WAY.
40. Would you ever bungee jump? rolls eyes.
41.Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? nope.
42. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? don't know if he's homeless.
43. What are you worried about right now? nothing.
46. Ever played Strip Poker? NO.
44. Whats ur favourite scent? rain :D
45. At what age do you think you'll marry? 24, it's my dream!

i'm very tired. good, the quizzes have played their part. sorry for all the yes and no answers, to the yes and no qns. know it's boring!



11:31 PM

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

OH. MY. GOSH.

that describes everything. those who have no interest in reading about energy or toro, please leave, don't want to bore you!

unbelievable, that's the only word to describe the past three days. unbelievable!!!! wasn't planning to blog about this because there's really too, too much and i'd feel very sad that everything's over, but i decided that i shd just blog the more impt things so that when i look back, i'd remember how i felt these few days.

i love energy, i love shuwei, but most of all, i love toro :D

sat - airport. shuwei waved, ahdi was rubbish, and milk filmed all the fans, and he was right infront of me, video-ing me while i did the same. hahah. but kunda didn't come with them, and that made poor nette cry.

sun - airport. kunda waved, and it was q near :D mediacorp radio, chased them on a maxicab with some other unknown fans, all the way to conrad hotel. waited for them there, and surprisingly, there wasn't any other fan except nette, joanne and i.

hmm. they came out, ahdi and kunda gave us a brief look to recognise our presence, but didn't react although nette was shouting "kunda! kunda!" because she had a letter for him. milk gave a simple half-smile. just as we thought it was impossible, shuwei looked at us and came over to take the letter for kunda. he was so, SO nice about it. nette couldn't stop talking abt him after that, so i'm like in love with him.

sff. didn't exactly enjoy the show, although there was toro. he was mixing with r&b and dcf and it's disgusting. he just doesn't belong there. loved his solos though. left right after his performance, couldn't be bothered with 5566. sorry siying, totally forgot about your jr :(

mon - nette and i both woke up late, at the exact same time. scarily telepathic!

imm, autograph session. ahdi first, he smiled. kunda second, and he was so weird. he looked at me and said "hello". i didn't know what to do so i smiled! then he was like "hao jiu bu jian". i was abit ? cause i didn't even talk to him and had nothing to say so i kind of smiled then walked to shuwei. passed the letter to energy (all abt toro, duh) to shuwei and he smiled and thanked me :D that stupid milk was so insincere abt everything.

sff. singaporeans are so, so disgraceful. hope they get seen on tv like that. but anyway, was very in front. so took clear videos of energy. and, this ahdi is CRAZY. he suggested all of them to come down to be closer to the fans, and OF COURSE the fans went mad and we were all squashed. but, i didn't mind it one bit :D got to touch the tip of ahdi's knuckle (ha, ha) which wasn't very exciting but took very, very, very close up videos of him and shuwei. kunda was on the other side, so yeah. somehow, think shuwei remembered us from the hotel thing. it's not very hard, because we were the only ones and all. he stared at us for a few seconds and waved, but maybe we were just hallucinating what we wanted to happen. hahah.

waited at the oriental for mom to fetch nette and i. we were SO high and everything. and guess what. all 5566 fans, i'm sorry! a van drove past and i was thinking who a guy (in the car) could be chasing. then suddenly, everything registered. i was like "MENGZHE!" although we don't like 5566 at all, it was so exciting and fan-less so we ran. then xiezhi said hi to nette, while i took a close up video of shaowei. oh well. out of point.

i really, really, really love energy now! now i know why people can go so mad over them. and yes, i feel like i'm betraying toro but like nette said, toro was and will always be part of them, and it's because of him i like energy, and they're energy, not energy and toro, and it'll always be like this. really don't want to talk abt this, so yeah.

i miss the past few days alot :'( really. it was so.. i don't know. unreal, fast, and just, dreamlike. i don't want to have to go back to catching up with the fast pace of life, but i, we need to wake up cause we're having our os.

took loads and loads of nice videos, and hope we can seek solace in them. yep.

it was a beautiful three days. feeling very upset now. gonna miss them alot.

really, really tired now.



1:13 AM

Thursday, August 05, 2004

uploaded photos of kai's birthday. under snaps - kaibday

today was such a fun day :D

played netball with the darls after school. and that is where i belong, where i came from :) missed the feeling so much, i almost forgot. didn't play very well, but it was fine considering we haven't trained for half a yr. i think i lost 100kg! hahah :P

tmr's going to be fun too! class is wearing high red&white socks. hmmm. hope it turns out well.

after that, going for seoul garden lunch with the darls! can't wait. miss them so much.

saturday, sunday, monday. -wipes sweat- fully packed with energy, and more energy.

was feeling a little down today, towards the end of school. don't know how to put it to words. i wish you'd just do something.

but but but, hahah! siying, fionne and tinwai were SO funny. was watching them from the big bridge, and they were playing some eye game (?) and they looked retarded. too lazy to describe.

You're such a sly one with your cold cold heart
For you leavin' came easy but it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know'
Cause it seems like forever but I'm letting you go

Now I'm almost over you, I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around, after painting the town
You'll see that I'm almost over you

I can forgive you and soon I'll forget all my shattered dreams
You took the love that you wanted and left me the misery



7:56 PM

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAI :D

hope you enjoyed the whole of today, because we really, really put alot of effort and heart into it. and, remember i love you!

day started out weirdly. the damn thing (it's a name, i guess) bled, and bled, AND BLED. soaked ten thousand tissues, and my skirt was covered with blood! had to walk out of the auditorium, in front of the school like that. nvm.

and miss seah went crazy. what's her bloody problem.

hahah! the fun part :D tricked and tricked kai into thinking nobody cares abt her birthday.

so, plan was :
right after school, lisa, joelle and i head straight to kai's house. told her i was going to see toro, lisa and jojo going home to sleep. and she stupidly believed! kai was supposed to be in school waiting for miss karen tan's staff meeting to end. fiona accompanies kai to watch the stella ng concert, and peihan has detention. yep. suddenly, miss tan tells kai she cannot make it and kai will, of course, head to changi :P

so everything went according to plan. lisa, jojo (hahah) and i decorated her room and filled water bombs. just as expected, kai was so determined to go to changi airport cause she was so sad. cried like nobody's business ok! hahah. anyway, we spent SO MUCH time and SO MUCH effort and SO MANY lies, persuading her to come home to the surprise party.

and blah blah blah. when she came home, she was so angry, she just slammed her bag down and locked herself in her brother's room! by that time, miss tan, hannah and fiona were at kai's house already.

spent another maybe 20 minutes making kai come out, then finally she came into the room and said "so irritating la!" and flashed that much awaited smile! then, pop pop pop.

talked, took pictures, ate steamboat, talked, fiona left, cut cake, talked, miss tan left, played water bombs, sparklers and the "smash the whipped cream (that kai believed was melted vanilla icecream cake) on kai's face" game.

and. our birthday present for her! really put in alot, alot of effort. three boards filled with 91 (?) pictures with captions. hung it at her gigantic harry potter poster place. will upload photo. heh.

was a really fun day. miss tan is so nice and cute, and i never realised that! hahah.

will upload the alot, alot of photos soon. combining album with lily. yep. sorry for the stupid names.

reached home at like 11pm. think my mom wants to kill me.

but anyhow, i really enjoyed myself today although i feel q bad abt kai crying till her tears have all dried up. they honestly did. hahah.

big yawn.

i'm abit confused. but it doesn't matter. i think. hmmm.

wo shi zhong dai zhe ni ai de wei xiao,
yi lu shang xun zao wo yi shi de mei hao

11:41 PM

Monday, August 02, 2004

never thought i'd feel this way again.

was listening to "shou qian shou", am listening to it now. and it brings me back, all the way to last yr. do you remember? we were sitting at the service road, brenda with the guitar, the rest of us singing along. do you remember? i know i felt alot, alot, but i can't remember and i can't describe. i know i cried, i know annie cried, but that's all i remember. everything's like that now, everything's so vague. the memories are fading, and i'm holding on to them, desperately.

there was a time, not too long ago, i had five very, very important people in my life. they were the first ones i wanted to share all my joy and happiness with, and they were what kept me going when life just didn't seem right. there was a time, not too long ago, i know i could laugh, and laugh, cry, and cry in front of these five people. i know they'd laugh till we all had stomachaches with me, hold me till my tears have dried.

when "never once did we falter as our sorority held us firm" first started to become just a meaningless front, when the gap started to grow too wide to ignore, i was in self-denial, we all were.

when i finally accepted and embraced what was left of us, i thought i could move on, i thought i have. there were so many times i thought of how we used to be and i did not feel a thing, there were so many times. i thought i have moved on.

but i was wrong. i was so, terribly wrong.

i can't describe how exactly i feel now, not here, not now, not when i'm feeling like this. but i have to let the five of you know, through something i know you'd all read, that i still love you. all five of you.

i remember, i remember every single thing, and i'll never forget.

yes, we have faltered, yes, we have. but, you are still the most important part of me and that will never, ever change. i have once promised forever, but now i know i can't. but i've promised the last three years, and i'll promise the next three.

joyce once told me, "we'd always have a corner to hold each other." for the past few months, the walls of this corner built up, and i think it's already impossible to knock it all down. but i'm there, i'm still there, waiting for the day all six of us can get together, and laugh till we have stomachaches, and cry till we have swollen eyes, just like the old days.

thank you for leaving me with such beautiful friendships i know no other person have, thank you for making me the me i am today. my heart is still with you guys, whether i show it or not. i have drifted off once, believing i could move on, but now, i know, i can't, i can never.

after so, so many months, i'm crying my eyes out for the people i thought i have stopped loving. but no, i have never stopped loving any of you. that, i'm sure. i've always loved all five of you, but it has become an individual love, no longer the one whole big group love thing. but it's love all the same, and i know you will forgive me for that.

for the yous who have stood by me, annie and siying, thank you. for the yous who have been there but not q there, brenda, joyce and laura, thank you. i want the world to know how important my best friends are to me.

never once did we falter as our sorority held us firm. i love you.





10:39 PM