Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Training was alright, but I'm tired. I think it's the lack of food and lack of sleep.
Been keeping late nights to study. Gotta start doing up all my notes so I can study well for my Promos. I'm more confident now, it's not too late yet. Hope I can last till then :)
HAPPY EARLY COACH'S DAY :D Heh. We gave Mr Teh a pleasant surprise!
You know, just now when we were sitting in a circle, when Mr Teh were talking to us... I felt a very strong urge to cry. I'm blessed with such wonderful and understanding team mates, and I've got a great coach. I really can't ask for more. Without all your cheers, I'd have never completed all the stupid runs we had to do. Without all your encouragements, I wouldn't have the courage to overcome every single obstacle. It was a very overwhelming feeling. And so I've said this before, and I'd say it again - Saints Netball, all my love to you.
Looking for a hand to hold tight, a strong shoulder to lean on, a smile to love- just to fill up the empty space you left behind.
8:51 PM
Huh !? Doesn't make sense.
Flying without wings keeps playing on shuffle mode. Is this a sign?
I'm feeling much better, 'cause I'm clearer with Chemistry and Econs already. MATH MATH MATH OH HELP ME. I'm contemplating if I should skip school tmr, because there's a lecture test, and I don't want to have to beat my personal record of 1/2 upon 25. But if I don't go...
Off to do PW Written Report, Alkenes & Arenes notes and maybe practice some differentiation. (gasp gasp?)
With each passing day, I lose a little more faith. Love, can I ever love again?
You were the reason I believed in love at first sight, and the reason why I stopped believing in it. I wish I could take back everything I've put in, but you chucked them all away I can't find them anymore. Was I not good enough, was it because I've done something wrong?
9:55 PM
I wish I could watch one minute of TV peacefully, without feeling guilty and scared.
I wish I could eat something, anything, without feeling guilty and fat. I miss that feeling... it's been too long.
And it's not like I've got no time to study. I just can't focus, my thoughts keep wandering off.
Shemin and I are on the same boat AGAIN. We look forward to school, but we'd really rather sit at the caf from 745am - 515pm, and so, we're going to skip Chemistry lecture to sit in the caf. I hope she makes me laugh and laugh and laugh so maybe all these would go away.
And that's the joy you bring, I'm flying without wings
1:29 AM
Rain Rain's dinner consists of:
1. Nutro Chicken and Rice Small bites for SENSITIVE STOMACH. We realised he has a sensitive tummy when we brought him to the vet coz he farts SO MUCH and SO SMELLY.
2. Shreded Chicken. Not leftover; it's cooked specially for him
3. Cesar; i heard somewhere it's bad for dogs, but Rain loves it! and he wouldnt eat otherwise!
Oh, did i mention that these food has to be HOT when served? like steamy hot! otherwise he wouldnt eat it
Well, even when it's hot and steamy, he sniffs it, thinks once, twice and thrice before deciding if he wants to eat. And we have to FEED mouth by mouth while he sits like a prince.
Rain:(sniffs) HMhm... smells yummy. Is it worth opening my mouth to taste the food?
Rain: (takes the first bite) What's the menu today? let me see. Cesar chicken and seafood. My regular small bites for sensitive stomach. And chicken shreds. i'd like it more if they can add some beef stew into the mix.
Rain: OH BORING. everyday it's either chicken or pork or beef. i'd love to eat that rabbit on the balcony.
WHAT TO DO WHEN HE'S SO CUTE???
Rain: It's not my fault you all spoil me! -farts-
- cOni
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's from my sister's blog. It's damn funny can! Super cute, I lub lub Rain <3
Anyway, conferenced the whole night with Maylene, Giel and Shemin. HILARIOUS, really. Haven't laughed so much in a long time.
And Shemin (iamshameless) and I are on the same boat. Shit scared for promos, don't want to retain, want to study hard, but CANNOT study hard, so we want to cry every time we think about it. I feel so unmotivated.
Oh and dammit I'm starting to talk like a lianzzz. This is terrible.
It's late, going off to dream land. Hope I meet Jason there this time, since he always refuses to turn up for our dream dates. HAHA. In front of hokkien mee stall or behind the pillar okay, don't be late!
2:35 AM
Promos are coming, I'm really shit scared. I need to buck up and slap myself awake. I think I wouldn't be able to take it if I see any of us (including me) being held behind. We have to do it tgt, we will.
It's a damn long weekend ahead.
Now, that's reflect. It was a very fluctuating week. I know I was being a PITA most of the time so thank you, Germs, Maylene and ESPECIALLY GIEL for being there to tolerate my nonsense. I'm glad the week ended off relatively good, and I'm looking forward to the next.
I love my darlings, have I ever said that? :)
Can you be the one I've been waiting for?
11:43 PM
12:37 AM
I've got lots of work to catch up on.
Math - Differentiation techniques. Oh no, tutorial 13. I don't even want to think about it. Thank goodness my Maclaurin's is fine. And there's integration!!! :'(
Chemistry - All the organic Chemistry topics. Still on my Arenes tutorial. And I can't do a single question without referring back to the notes. Help.
Econs - I tried reading up on Oligopoly but I'm like, catch no ball? But at least I know I'm okay with most of the things in front.
PW - I REFUSE TO EVEN TALK ABOUT IT.
I think I'm deprived, I blog too much abt the most redundant things.
But today, we talked about the vulnerability of lives. We really need to learn to treasure, each and every single one of us. Today has passed, everyone's safe and happy, good. But what about tomorrow? Who knows what tmr is going to bring us? So now, right this moment, go up to every single person you love, family, friends, partners, whoever, and tell him/her that. You'll regret it if tmr never comes. What you fear today might become a mistake you can never make amends for tmr.
Daddy, Mommy, Jiejie, Rain, Nette, Jan, Annie, Brenda, Joyce, Siying, Lisa, Kai, Joelle, Khin, Ubri, Jo, Jason, Huishan, Maylene, Giel, Germs, Tric, Yingzhen, Jen, Ata, Vivien, the rest of my dearest team mates and D - I LOVE YOU GUYS.
Off to do EOM.
10:11 PM
I'm feeling rather lost now.
And strangely, I miss D. I think it's the song. Was listening to Incomplete the whole day. Today is the 608th day.
Girls,
Find the one
who calls you beautiful instead of hot
who calls you back when you hang up on him
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep
Wait for the one
who kisses your forhead
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats
who holds your hand in front of his friends
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on
who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you
Wait for the one
who turns to his friends and says, "That's her."
Guys,
Find the one
who calls you baby-faced instead of hot or sexy (HAHA)
who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back
who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes
who doesn't care what you look like but what's inside counts the most
who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips
who wants to be with you in public even if you wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always
Wait for the one
who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy
who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back
Wait for the one
whom you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends while she gets off and you hear her go, "You're the one for me, always."
Haha. Life's not that bad la. That just made me happy! So sweet :)
Ooooh and Lisa just messaged all the way from Aussie to check on me! I feel so loved. <3
Alright, think I'm going to study tonight. I have to!
9:56 PM
Have you ever had this feeling, when you're looking at someone, you get very happy and excited and all, but the moment he/she leaves your sight, your mood plunges to an all-time low? I think that's what Giel and I were experiencing today. That explains.
Hey, but I had a GREAT achievement today :D I RAN 8 ROUNDS, ON MY OWN ACCORD. Can you believe it !? I think this is the first time I ran more than 6 rounds at one go, and it is for fun. Haha don't small see me okay, the lousy-stamina Centre will pick up!!!
Basically, that's it. I'm all exhausted and worn out. I hate feeling so weak. Obsessive compulsive, I think that's a form of vulnerability.
I think I'm crazy.
Hopefully tmr will be a better day. I'm crossing my fingers.
10:16 PM
Super cool la, now we can update one another about our lives. Check it out! Under links - us :)
1:19 AM
Went shopping with jiejie today. I bought a new Nike bag, a new pencil case and a set of funky lip gloss!
I think I'm in love with it :)
New vs old. HAHA. I don't really like it that much, but since I'm desperate for one (as you can see), and red is nice, so.
Oh baby all my candy kisses, I give them to you!
Daddy's back :D That explains why I could buy all that. Had steamboat dinner. So blissful.
Anyway, today wasn't so emo. That's good.
Giel, I hope everything was better for you today too! I MEE YOU okay?
Strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song, killing me softly with his song
*HAHA PEOPLE YOU GOTTA TRY THIS OUT! Click here and type in any URL. You'll see the contents of the website being translated into beng languange.
My poor lyrics became like this -
Strumming my lan jiao pain with that chao ah beng's fingers,
singing my lan jiao life with that chao ah beng's words
Killing limpeh softly with that chao ah beng's song,
killing limpeh softly with that chao ah beng's song
CUTE OR NOT!
9:19 PM
Isn't it wonderful - all red, pink and colourful with lovely hearts? Hahahahaha! (I think Annie wants to kill me :P)
But anyway this template is so much happier :) Though I think I won't stick to this for long, it's this for now.
Good night!
1:15 AM
(In the process of searching for a perfect template...)
Anyway, speaking of colours, my day was dull and gloomy
:( Giel and I were moping around the whole day.
Giel? HUG HUG. We'll get through this tgt, we're stronger than this. And take care of that ankle of yours. Lub <3
Sometimes I wonder - if we asked you to come back, would you? It's undeniable, I'm unhappy with everything that has been going on, but I do miss your presence. We do.
Watched The Maid with Maymay and Giel after school. Oh how much I miss horror shows! Haha. But I got really freaked out so I ended up hugging Maymay half the time. It was an okay show.
Germs joined us for dinner, then we headed to Supreme Court stairs to take ALOT of photos. Can't wait for Germs to upload. The place was quiet enough. Lub them <3
"ill never love again. in a long long long time."
I wrote this on March 21 2004. True enough. But maybe the time is up?
I'm really crazy tonight. But I'm feeling much better from just now already la.
"it would be so perfect if it was two ways?
at both ends neither knew
they were wishing and hoping
have you ever imagined that?"
When I first saw this on Ata's blog, I felt this really strange but strong urge to cry.
OKAY I already said I'm crazy tonight.
11:54 PM
Just got off the phone with Jason, and I think that explains my mood :D Talking to him makes me free and happy, it brings me away from the life here. He says there are many Wonka bars there! I miss him :(
Well, like every single person in the cohort, I think PW sucks big time. But, what to do, it's my responsibility to be on time for everything. #@$#$~!
Today was alright. Later part of the day was better. OH Germs officially joined my 4 periods break today because she dropped Physics. So I won't be alone for first 2 periods anymore! Cheers :)
Anyway, I was browsing through someone's GN album yesterday. And I saw a photo I never knew existed. That was probably one of the only pictures we took tgt? Maybe, just maybe, I felt a flicker of something. Not sure what. Like, nostalgic? It's pretty weird la.
It's been so long, hasn't it?
I was looking at this and I wanted to cry. People I thought I'd be with forever.. they're suddenly just gone from my life. I still talk and meet up with Annie pretty often which is good, but as for Brenda, Joyce and esp Siying, I just don't know abt their lives anymore. I miss them, yet I don't know how to stop all this from happening. This is what JC does to people. It's so sick you know. I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH.
I hope I never ever have to part with them.
Tmr's gonna be a short day. No training, for once. Gonna watch The Maid with Maymay and Giel 'cause Germs has training. Just right! Can't wait.
And
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
Stop saying I don't love you okay, you know I do! I love my Golden Ticket, it's in my wallet. Thanks for being such a sweetie.
Why don't you? What if I?
10:42 PM
LOOK! -BEAMS- Germs is so sweet :D We were studying at JE library just now and when Germs came to join us, she asked me to close my eyes and handed me a Wonka Bar. I was really super touched and it made me happy :D THANKS GERMS, I LUB YOU! We still have one more, bringing to school to share with the rest tmr.
Oh and congrats to the soccer girls!!! CHAMPIONS :D Yay for Ubri!
Studying was quite productive today. Probably gonna do more later if I have the energy.
Netteeee I'm waiting for you to come online! It's so rare that I'm on MSN okay (for losers :P), quick hurry!
10:53 PM
Training was draining. School is draining. Life is draining.
Things are getting out of control. I think we're going to do sth abt it soon. Yes we are. Wish it didn't have to be like that.
It's only words, and words are all I have to take your heart away :)
I'm in an odd mood. Need to study. Before I go bathe, some shoutouts.
MAYMAY - We might not be able to understand but we're always here, always ready to hear you rant, cry, shout, whatever. Life's never fair, but don't overlook all the happiness they've brought into your life. Still prefer the noisy bitch, so you better be okay by tmr! LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I LOVE RAIN :D (which is damn alot okay) Hand-in-hand, we'll go through all the shit tgt yes?
GIEL - And you, I'll shave off the chocolate for you just so you can reach the peanuts. It's WR AND WL, both Maymay and I think it's quite hopeful. But bottom line is, you're beautiful and don't ever let anything make you doubt that okay! LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I LOVE RAIN TOO :D
And to the rest of my darlings... go and die, I doesn't care about you le lahx :P
11:20 PM
But I STILL WANT MY WONKA BAR. Been searching everywhere for it okay.
Had minimal sleep yesterday. Studying late into the night really works wonders for me. I'm nocturnal! But Econs test part b still left me feeling helpless.
We missed Maymay in school today. Take care yourself sweets, I want to see you alive and kicking tmr :D (We have 3 periods Math lecture tgt tmr, you can't miss it for the world!)
You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
For you leaving came easy but it tore me apart
7:44 PM
But for now, I gotta bang on Econs. Haven't stared, I have a test tmr!
You have no idea how much I dread school because of my class. Thinking of it makes me want to cry.
Oh and LOL. An eye for an eye, jackass. As Germs said, "Do you want to eat my shit?" PO PITA!
*1127pm
YAY I'm full of energy again! I just received Jason's (my trusty waterbottle) mail and somehow it made me feel a thousand times lighter and happier :D Missing you!
10:16 PM
Had a nice and long catching-up phone session with Annie just now :) So heart warming, hearing her stuuuupid laughter. Haha. LOVE MY BESTIE.
And now, having a phone conference with my darlings! Maymay, Germs and Giel, as usual. We just love gossiping don't we.
Been trying to study the whole day. I CAN'T DO FUNCTIONS LA super frustrating >:(
A part of me died when you went away, and I'm still putting the pieces tgt.
Till then :)
12:24 AM
I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Today was a super tiring day! But I survived it, thank goodness.
PT was AWFUL. I'm really sorry for being so whiney and reluctant. Thanks for being so tolerant. Esp esp esp Tric for pushing me all the way although you weren't feeling well yourself. Take care okay? You really scared me! And not forgetting Jen for the "you can do it, you can do it"s. Lub lub to all :)
I'm so unfit, I gotta buck up.
Had dinner at Maymay's house. Wah, super yummy la!
JAN please forgive meeee.
Having lunch with my mommy and sister tmr! So exciting. SHOPPING.
Okay, off to call Maymay to wake her up.
11:23 PM
Some pictures!
This is my favourite photo of the day! Trio oh Trio, my darling Trio!
Stupid Jan just can't be normal for once.
This wallet-buying freak is just so weird. And check my hourglass arm out. HAHA.
How lucky can Jan get.
Oooh, ending the day off with a random picture. Don't I look like a pig? Haha alright,I LOVE TRIO :D
School was ewww today. I hate long days. But I love lectures with Maymay!!!
Tmr's a super short day but guess what? We're gonna have PT. Helllllp. The worst thing is that Giel won't be doing with me cause she sprained her ankle!
Speaking of which, my dear Giel ah, please please please take care of yourself okay. Ice it properly, and don't walk abt too much. Hope to see you bouncing around soon. (actually maybe not, you're quieter like that :P) LOVE <3
I'm in a not bad mood today which is good. I was wondering why and I know already!!! Cause I received Jason's email just now! I think it brightened up my whole day.
Alright. Gonna nap, then wake up and try to get my Alkenes tutorial done. Super hard can!
Everytime I hold your hand in mine
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find
And I have never felt this way
Since the day I gave your love away
7:05 PM
I miss my WILLY WONKAS!!!
8:42 PM
Haha. National Day Celebration in school was terrible. Couldn't even find a tiny bit of the CRESCENT SPIRIT. I miss all those rah rah times.
After that, went for lunch and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with GTG. (That's what they call themselves, what to do) The show wasn't as fantastic as expected but it was pretty cool nonetheless. Giel and I went MAD after that! Tric escaped, so poor Germs was left alone to suffer... but in the end became like us. Haha.
Fooled around, had dinner and desert, talked quite alot with them. <3
Took a whole lot of pictures, will put it up soon!
Finally have time to rest today. Gonna go cut my hair, sleep, do my work, sleep, watch TV, sleep sleep sleep.
Tmr's my Trio meeting :D
The "long weekend" passed too fast. I haven't had time to stop to catch my breath yet. I wish I had more motivation to go to school. RAH.
Okay, now stop complaining. At least I have them.
11:47 AM
Had Pesta Sukan Carnival today. Hmm, how should I put it. It was generally a good day for the team, we did well and we fought hard and that's good :) I love my team mates!
Sunburnt!!!
Had BBQ at Maymay's house yesterday. WOO SUPER NICE. And then she came over to stay but we didn't do much cause we had to sleep "early" for the carnival.
Had lunch and watched Wedding Crashers after that. OH and I saw someone who looked like you and my heart could have jumped out! EEKS.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tmr. Yes yes, it's the in thing! Chocolaaaates.
This is how it feels, the loneliness is eating me up. And I try so hard... I try so hard. But it's like the wall will never fall. It's such a joke. Sian diao.
But please tell me, would we be happy sitting under the clear black sky. Would we laugh and smile like we used to, would we.
8:50 PM
But on a lighter note, besides that, today was great! I just realised I didn't get to spend time with my darlings the whole of this week cause of lessons and all. Sigh, what would I do without them.
I had a catching-up session with Huishan today too :)
I think you should know why, you brought it upon myself.
How nice would it be to be in love. Been seeing a lot of sweet things around, and it makes me think. Like the V&V twins, chocolates and cakes etc. Haha! But then again, I really don't think any of us have the time. Besides, if I fall in love again, it can only be with you. I think :(
I've got a very packed weekend ahead. TRIO MEETING NEXT WEEK :D I miss my Nette and Janny.
Alright. Off I go!
Si le dou yao ai, bu ling li jing zhi bu tong kuai
11:16 PM
I love May May! Hug. Sorry for having been such a pain in the ass for the past few days.
I miss Jason :( I'm going to send you an email! Got so much to tell you. Love!
I want to find chocolates in my bag too!!! No fair
>:( Hahahahaha. Maybe I'll only find SR and KK... eee.
How are you?
10:07 PM
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see, the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn
And then we wipe the last tear off, paste a smile, and we live on.
Deja Vu.
11:25 PM
I'm studying for the Chemistry test tmr and surprisingly I'm feeling so much more energetic than I was in school. Which is great!
HAHA DAMN FUNNY. She deserves it la. A leopard will never change its spot.
Just because I don't show it doesn't mean it doesn't matter. I bet it never did cross your mind how f-ing hard it is. It's beginning to scare me, how the same things keep running through my mind every time it happens.
I meant it when I asked you that question today. Sometime I wish I was brave enough. This is so unlike me.
Back to Chemistry. (Read: TEEVEE)
12:45 AM
Training was alright, but I'm tired. I think it's the lack of food and lack of sleep.
Been keeping late nights to study. Gotta start doing up all my notes so I can study well for my Promos. I'm more confident now, it's not too late yet. Hope I can last till then :)
HAPPY EARLY COACH'S DAY :D Heh. We gave Mr Teh a pleasant surprise!
You know, just now when we were sitting in a circle, when Mr Teh were talking to us... I felt a very strong urge to cry. I'm blessed with such wonderful and understanding team mates, and I've got a great coach. I really can't ask for more. Without all your cheers, I'd have never completed all the stupid runs we had to do. Without all your encouragements, I wouldn't have the courage to overcome every single obstacle. It was a very overwhelming feeling. And so I've said this before, and I'd say it again - Saints Netball, all my love to you.
Looking for a hand to hold tight, a strong shoulder to lean on, a smile to love- just to fill up the empty space you left behind.
8:51 PM
Monday, August 29, 2005
Huh !? Doesn't make sense.
Flying without wings keeps playing on shuffle mode. Is this a sign?
I'm feeling much better, 'cause I'm clearer with Chemistry and Econs already. MATH MATH MATH OH HELP ME. I'm contemplating if I should skip school tmr, because there's a lecture test, and I don't want to have to beat my personal record of 1/2 upon 25. But if I don't go...
Off to do PW Written Report, Alkenes & Arenes notes and maybe practice some differentiation. (gasp gasp?)
With each passing day, I lose a little more faith. Love, can I ever love again?
You were the reason I believed in love at first sight, and the reason why I stopped believing in it. I wish I could take back everything I've put in, but you chucked them all away I can't find them anymore. Was I not good enough, was it because I've done something wrong?
9:55 PM
I wish I could watch one minute of TV peacefully, without feeling guilty and scared.
I wish I could eat something, anything, without feeling guilty and fat. I miss that feeling... it's been too long.
And it's not like I've got no time to study. I just can't focus, my thoughts keep wandering off.
Shemin and I are on the same boat AGAIN. We look forward to school, but we'd really rather sit at the caf from 745am - 515pm, and so, we're going to skip Chemistry lecture to sit in the caf. I hope she makes me laugh and laugh and laugh so maybe all these would go away.
And that's the joy you bring, I'm flying without wings
1:29 AM
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Rain Rain's dinner consists of:
1. Nutro Chicken and Rice Small bites for SENSITIVE STOMACH. We realised he has a sensitive tummy when we brought him to the vet coz he farts SO MUCH and SO SMELLY.
2. Shreded Chicken. Not leftover; it's cooked specially for him
3. Cesar; i heard somewhere it's bad for dogs, but Rain loves it! and he wouldnt eat otherwise!
Oh, did i mention that these food has to be HOT when served? like steamy hot! otherwise he wouldnt eat it
Well, even when it's hot and steamy, he sniffs it, thinks once, twice and thrice before deciding if he wants to eat. And we have to FEED mouth by mouth while he sits like a prince.
Rain:(sniffs) HMhm... smells yummy. Is it worth opening my mouth to taste the food?
Rain: (takes the first bite) What's the menu today? let me see. Cesar chicken and seafood. My regular small bites for sensitive stomach. And chicken shreds. i'd like it more if they can add some beef stew into the mix.
Rain: OH BORING. everyday it's either chicken or pork or beef. i'd love to eat that rabbit on the balcony.
WHAT TO DO WHEN HE'S SO CUTE???
Rain: It's not my fault you all spoil me! -farts-
- cOni
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's from my sister's blog. It's damn funny can! Super cute, I lub lub Rain <3
Anyway, conferenced the whole night with Maylene, Giel and Shemin. HILARIOUS, really. Haven't laughed so much in a long time.
And Shemin (iamshameless) and I are on the same boat. Shit scared for promos, don't want to retain, want to study hard, but CANNOT study hard, so we want to cry every time we think about it. I feel so unmotivated.
Oh and dammit I'm starting to talk like a lianzzz. This is terrible.
It's late, going off to dream land. Hope I meet Jason there this time, since he always refuses to turn up for our dream dates. HAHA. In front of hokkien mee stall or behind the pillar okay, don't be late!
2:35 AM
Friday, August 26, 2005
Promos are coming, I'm really shit scared. I need to buck up and slap myself awake. I think I wouldn't be able to take it if I see any of us (including me) being held behind. We have to do it tgt, we will.
It's a damn long weekend ahead.
Now, that's reflect. It was a very fluctuating week. I know I was being a PITA most of the time so thank you, Germs, Maylene and ESPECIALLY GIEL for being there to tolerate my nonsense. I'm glad the week ended off relatively good, and I'm looking forward to the next.
I love my darlings, have I ever said that? :)
Can you be the one I've been waiting for?
11:43 PM
12:37 AM
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I've got lots of work to catch up on.
Math - Differentiation techniques. Oh no, tutorial 13. I don't even want to think about it. Thank goodness my Maclaurin's is fine. And there's integration!!! :'(
Chemistry - All the organic Chemistry topics. Still on my Arenes tutorial. And I can't do a single question without referring back to the notes. Help.
Econs - I tried reading up on Oligopoly but I'm like, catch no ball? But at least I know I'm okay with most of the things in front.
PW - I REFUSE TO EVEN TALK ABOUT IT.
I think I'm deprived, I blog too much abt the most redundant things.
But today, we talked about the vulnerability of lives. We really need to learn to treasure, each and every single one of us. Today has passed, everyone's safe and happy, good. But what about tomorrow? Who knows what tmr is going to bring us? So now, right this moment, go up to every single person you love, family, friends, partners, whoever, and tell him/her that. You'll regret it if tmr never comes. What you fear today might become a mistake you can never make amends for tmr.
Daddy, Mommy, Jiejie, Rain, Nette, Jan, Annie, Brenda, Joyce, Siying, Lisa, Kai, Joelle, Khin, Ubri, Jo, Jason, Huishan, Maylene, Giel, Germs, Tric, Yingzhen, Jen, Ata, Vivien, the rest of my dearest team mates and D - I LOVE YOU GUYS.
Off to do EOM.
10:11 PM
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I'm feeling rather lost now.
And strangely, I miss D. I think it's the song. Was listening to Incomplete the whole day. Today is the 608th day.
Girls,
Find the one
who calls you beautiful instead of hot
who calls you back when you hang up on him
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep
Wait for the one
who kisses your forhead
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats
who holds your hand in front of his friends
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on
who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you
Wait for the one
who turns to his friends and says, "That's her."
Guys,
Find the one
who calls you baby-faced instead of hot or sexy (HAHA)
who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back
who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes
who doesn't care what you look like but what's inside counts the most
who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes and kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips
who wants to be with you in public even if you wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always
Wait for the one
who is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy
who makes you smile just by knowing she loves you back
Wait for the one
whom you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends while she gets off and you hear her go, "You're the one for me, always."
Haha. Life's not that bad la. That just made me happy! So sweet :)
Ooooh and Lisa just messaged all the way from Aussie to check on me! I feel so loved. <3
Alright, think I'm going to study tonight. I have to!
9:56 PM
Monday, August 22, 2005
Have you ever had this feeling, when you're looking at someone, you get very happy and excited and all, but the moment he/she leaves your sight, your mood plunges to an all-time low? I think that's what Giel and I were experiencing today. That explains.
Hey, but I had a GREAT achievement today :D I RAN 8 ROUNDS, ON MY OWN ACCORD. Can you believe it !? I think this is the first time I ran more than 6 rounds at one go, and it is for fun. Haha don't small see me okay, the lousy-stamina Centre will pick up!!!
Basically, that's it. I'm all exhausted and worn out. I hate feeling so weak. Obsessive compulsive, I think that's a form of vulnerability.
I think I'm crazy.
Hopefully tmr will be a better day. I'm crossing my fingers.
10:16 PM
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Super cool la, now we can update one another about our lives. Check it out! Under links - us :)
1:19 AM
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Went shopping with jiejie today. I bought a new Nike bag, a new pencil case and a set of funky lip gloss!
Daddy's back :D That explains why I could buy all that. Had steamboat dinner. So blissful.
Anyway, today wasn't so emo. That's good.
Giel, I hope everything was better for you today too! I MEE YOU okay?
Strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song, killing me softly with his song
*HAHA PEOPLE YOU GOTTA TRY THIS OUT! Click here and type in any URL. You'll see the contents of the website being translated into beng languange.
My poor lyrics became like this -
Strumming my lan jiao pain with that chao ah beng's fingers,
singing my lan jiao life with that chao ah beng's words
Killing limpeh softly with that chao ah beng's song,
killing limpeh softly with that chao ah beng's song
CUTE OR NOT!
9:19 PM
Isn't it wonderful - all red, pink and colourful with lovely hearts? Hahahahaha! (I think Annie wants to kill me :P)
But anyway this template is so much happier :) Though I think I won't stick to this for long, it's this for now.
Good night!
1:15 AM
Friday, August 19, 2005
(In the process of searching for a perfect template...)
Anyway, speaking of colours, my day was dull and gloomy
:( Giel and I were moping around the whole day.
Giel? HUG HUG. We'll get through this tgt, we're stronger than this. And take care of that ankle of yours. Lub <3
Sometimes I wonder - if we asked you to come back, would you? It's undeniable, I'm unhappy with everything that has been going on, but I do miss your presence. We do.
Watched The Maid with Maymay and Giel after school. Oh how much I miss horror shows! Haha. But I got really freaked out so I ended up hugging Maymay half the time. It was an okay show.
Germs joined us for dinner, then we headed to Supreme Court stairs to take ALOT of photos. Can't wait for Germs to upload. The place was quiet enough. Lub them <3
"ill never love again. in a long long long time."
I wrote this on March 21 2004. True enough. But maybe the time is up?
I'm really crazy tonight. But I'm feeling much better from just now already la.
"it would be so perfect if it was two ways?
at both ends neither knew
they were wishing and hoping
have you ever imagined that?"
When I first saw this on Ata's blog, I felt this really strange but strong urge to cry.
OKAY I already said I'm crazy tonight.
11:54 PM
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Just got off the phone with Jason, and I think that explains my mood :D Talking to him makes me free and happy, it brings me away from the life here. He says there are many Wonka bars there! I miss him :(
Well, like every single person in the cohort, I think PW sucks big time. But, what to do, it's my responsibility to be on time for everything. #@$#$~!
Today was alright. Later part of the day was better. OH Germs officially joined my 4 periods break today because she dropped Physics. So I won't be alone for first 2 periods anymore! Cheers :)
Anyway, I was browsing through someone's GN album yesterday. And I saw a photo I never knew existed. That was probably one of the only pictures we took tgt? Maybe, just maybe, I felt a flicker of something. Not sure what. Like, nostalgic? It's pretty weird la.
It's been so long, hasn't it?
I was looking at this and I wanted to cry. People I thought I'd be with forever.. they're suddenly just gone from my life. I still talk and meet up with Annie pretty often which is good, but as for Brenda, Joyce and esp Siying, I just don't know abt their lives anymore. I miss them, yet I don't know how to stop all this from happening. This is what JC does to people. It's so sick you know. I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH.
I hope I never ever have to part with them.
Tmr's gonna be a short day. No training, for once. Gonna watch The Maid with Maymay and Giel 'cause Germs has training. Just right! Can't wait.
And
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN I LOVE HUISHAN
Stop saying I don't love you okay, you know I do! I love my Golden Ticket, it's in my wallet. Thanks for being such a sweetie.
Why don't you? What if I?
10:42 PM
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
LOOK! -BEAMS- Germs is so sweet :D We were studying at JE library just now and when Germs came to join us, she asked me to close my eyes and handed me a Wonka Bar. I was really super touched and it made me happy :D THANKS GERMS, I LUB YOU! We still have one more, bringing to school to share with the rest tmr.
Oh and congrats to the soccer girls!!! CHAMPIONS :D Yay for Ubri!
Studying was quite productive today. Probably gonna do more later if I have the energy.
Netteeee I'm waiting for you to come online! It's so rare that I'm on MSN okay (for losers :P), quick hurry!
10:53 PM
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Training was draining. School is draining. Life is draining.
Things are getting out of control. I think we're going to do sth abt it soon. Yes we are. Wish it didn't have to be like that.
It's only words, and words are all I have to take your heart away :)
I'm in an odd mood. Need to study. Before I go bathe, some shoutouts.
MAYMAY - We might not be able to understand but we're always here, always ready to hear you rant, cry, shout, whatever. Life's never fair, but don't overlook all the happiness they've brought into your life. Still prefer the noisy bitch, so you better be okay by tmr! LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I LOVE RAIN :D (which is damn alot okay) Hand-in-hand, we'll go through all the shit tgt yes?
GIEL - And you, I'll shave off the chocolate for you just so you can reach the peanuts. It's WR AND WL, both Maymay and I think it's quite hopeful. But bottom line is, you're beautiful and don't ever let anything make you doubt that okay! LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS I LOVE RAIN TOO :D
And to the rest of my darlings... go and die, I doesn't care about you le lahx :P
11:20 PM
Monday, August 15, 2005
But I STILL WANT MY WONKA BAR. Been searching everywhere for it okay.
Had minimal sleep yesterday. Studying late into the night really works wonders for me. I'm nocturnal! But Econs test part b still left me feeling helpless.
We missed Maymay in school today. Take care yourself sweets, I want to see you alive and kicking tmr :D (We have 3 periods Math lecture tgt tmr, you can't miss it for the world!)
You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
For you leaving came easy but it tore me apart
7:44 PM
Sunday, August 14, 2005
But for now, I gotta bang on Econs. Haven't stared, I have a test tmr!
You have no idea how much I dread school because of my class. Thinking of it makes me want to cry.
Oh and LOL. An eye for an eye, jackass. As Germs said, "Do you want to eat my shit?" PO PITA!
*1127pm
YAY I'm full of energy again! I just received Jason's (my trusty waterbottle) mail and somehow it made me feel a thousand times lighter and happier :D Missing you!
10:16 PM
Had a nice and long catching-up phone session with Annie just now :) So heart warming, hearing her stuuuupid laughter. Haha. LOVE MY BESTIE.
And now, having a phone conference with my darlings! Maymay, Germs and Giel, as usual. We just love gossiping don't we.
Been trying to study the whole day. I CAN'T DO FUNCTIONS LA super frustrating >:(
A part of me died when you went away, and I'm still putting the pieces tgt.
Till then :)
12:24 AM
Friday, August 12, 2005
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Today was a super tiring day! But I survived it, thank goodness.
PT was AWFUL. I'm really sorry for being so whiney and reluctant. Thanks for being so tolerant. Esp esp esp Tric for pushing me all the way although you weren't feeling well yourself. Take care okay? You really scared me! And not forgetting Jen for the "you can do it, you can do it"s. Lub lub to all :)
I'm so unfit, I gotta buck up.
Had dinner at Maymay's house. Wah, super yummy la!
JAN please forgive meeee.
Having lunch with my mommy and sister tmr! So exciting. SHOPPING.
Okay, off to call Maymay to wake her up.
11:23 PM
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Some pictures!
School was ewww today. I hate long days. But I love lectures with Maymay!!!
Tmr's a super short day but guess what? We're gonna have PT. Helllllp. The worst thing is that Giel won't be doing with me cause she sprained her ankle!
Speaking of which, my dear Giel ah, please please please take care of yourself okay. Ice it properly, and don't walk abt too much. Hope to see you bouncing around soon. (actually maybe not, you're quieter like that :P) LOVE <3
I'm in a not bad mood today which is good. I was wondering why and I know already!!! Cause I received Jason's email just now! I think it brightened up my whole day.
Alright. Gonna nap, then wake up and try to get my Alkenes tutorial done. Super hard can!
Everytime I hold your hand in mine
The sweetest thing my heart could ever find
And I have never felt this way
Since the day I gave your love away
7:05 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
I miss my WILLY WONKAS!!!
8:42 PM
Haha. National Day Celebration in school was terrible. Couldn't even find a tiny bit of the CRESCENT SPIRIT. I miss all those rah rah times.
After that, went for lunch and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with GTG. (That's what they call themselves, what to do) The show wasn't as fantastic as expected but it was pretty cool nonetheless. Giel and I went MAD after that! Tric escaped, so poor Germs was left alone to suffer... but in the end became like us. Haha.
Fooled around, had dinner and desert, talked quite alot with them. <3
Took a whole lot of pictures, will put it up soon!
Finally have time to rest today. Gonna go cut my hair, sleep, do my work, sleep, watch TV, sleep sleep sleep.
Tmr's my Trio meeting :D
The "long weekend" passed too fast. I haven't had time to stop to catch my breath yet. I wish I had more motivation to go to school. RAH.
Okay, now stop complaining. At least I have them.
11:47 AM
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Had Pesta Sukan Carnival today. Hmm, how should I put it. It was generally a good day for the team, we did well and we fought hard and that's good :) I love my team mates!
Sunburnt!!!
Had BBQ at Maymay's house yesterday. WOO SUPER NICE. And then she came over to stay but we didn't do much cause we had to sleep "early" for the carnival.
Had lunch and watched Wedding Crashers after that. OH and I saw someone who looked like you and my heart could have jumped out! EEKS.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tmr. Yes yes, it's the in thing! Chocolaaaates.
This is how it feels, the loneliness is eating me up. And I try so hard... I try so hard. But it's like the wall will never fall. It's such a joke. Sian diao.
But please tell me, would we be happy sitting under the clear black sky. Would we laugh and smile like we used to, would we.
8:50 PM
Friday, August 05, 2005
But on a lighter note, besides that, today was great! I just realised I didn't get to spend time with my darlings the whole of this week cause of lessons and all. Sigh, what would I do without them.
I had a catching-up session with Huishan today too :)
I think you should know why, you brought it upon myself.
How nice would it be to be in love. Been seeing a lot of sweet things around, and it makes me think. Like the V&V twins, chocolates and cakes etc. Haha! But then again, I really don't think any of us have the time. Besides, if I fall in love again, it can only be with you. I think :(
I've got a very packed weekend ahead. TRIO MEETING NEXT WEEK :D I miss my Nette and Janny.
Alright. Off I go!
Si le dou yao ai, bu ling li jing zhi bu tong kuai
11:16 PM
Thursday, August 04, 2005
I love May May! Hug. Sorry for having been such a pain in the ass for the past few days.
I miss Jason :( I'm going to send you an email! Got so much to tell you. Love!
I want to find chocolates in my bag too!!! No fair
>:( Hahahahaha. Maybe I'll only find SR and KK... eee.
How are you?
10:07 PM
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see, the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn
And then we wipe the last tear off, paste a smile, and we live on.
Deja Vu.
11:25 PM
I'm studying for the Chemistry test tmr and surprisingly I'm feeling so much more energetic than I was in school. Which is great!
HAHA DAMN FUNNY. She deserves it la. A leopard will never change its spot.
Just because I don't show it doesn't mean it doesn't matter. I bet it never did cross your mind how f-ing hard it is. It's beginning to scare me, how the same things keep running through my mind every time it happens.
I meant it when I asked you that question today. Sometime I wish I was brave enough. This is so unlike me.
Back to Chemistry. (Read: TEEVEE)
12:45 AM